Wonder Drug now available that supercharges the human body

Pikachu, under the influence...

Big Pharma won’t able to keep this under wraps for much longer. 

There now exists a drug that strengthens your bones, boosts your immune system, improves your posture, keeps your hormone levels in check (handy for fat burning, sex drive, etc), reduces your risk of getting diabetes and several cancers (including breast and colorectal), improves your mood, maintains or even increases your muscle mass, improves the functioning of every single organ and system in your body, makes you look younger, helps you maintain weight loss, extends your lifespan by over four years (if you consume daily) and even prevents you from losing your marbles and going senile.

As with most drugs, it has a shotgun effect, affecting literally every part of your body.

So why isn’t this wonder drug freely available to everyone? How do these corporate scumbags continue to get away with depriving us of this life-changing medicine?

Er, actually, it is freely available. And there’s no grand conspiracy by the pharmaceutical companies to keep it from us until we hand over the cash.

It just takes some effort to acquire it.

You have to do things you wouldn’t normally do.

Yes, as you may have already guessed, the wonder drug doesn’t come in the form of a pill.

It is exercise.

Some courage is required to score your first hit. Then it progressively gets a bit easier. And ends up becoming a habit just like any other drug. It can be hard to stop indulging once you get the dosage right.

This can be difficult to judge at first, which is why some people prefer to get their first supplies from a dealer (a.k.a. a personal trainer). This makes an overdose much less likely, and reduces the chance of unwanted side effects (such as getting injured or demotivated).

Some people in the know lift weights, doing a combination of pushes, pulls, squats, lifts and carries. Others go for a run. Or do yoga. While others still do fun stuff like playing tennis, surfing or rock climbing. It all provides a hit.

But the effects are short-lived. You have to go keep going back for more if you want to maintain the high. 

So,… push-ups, anyone?

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